Continuing Moments In Unoriginality: AVQ&A

Oh hey guys. Remember way back when, in the glory days of summer, I had the not-so-genius idea to parrot whatever question those professional folks over at the AV Club were debating in their Q&A for the week? Well, after a little Bali hiatus and forgetting that project, I'm back, and still don't know any better than to foist my own opinions upon the Tartar Sauce's innocent and unsuspecting readers. The project still smells a little of gimpitude, especially with a question like today's, but that's not going to stop me. Yet. Self-disparaging moments aside, today they're talking about what pop-culture thing(s) they find themselves being completist about, which is to say possessing all elements of a specific band, author, director, actor, genre, label, or what have you. Kind of a chance to show off the AV Cluber's knowledge and good taste, but I'm going to use this as a forum for defending one of the reviled elements of my childhood: the Redwall books. Up until the very end of highs school, I was a completist for nearly everything Brian Jacques penned, and still have all of the Redwall books (minus the first two installments) arranged chronologically on one really big shelf. And I've read most at least twice, the better ones probably somewhere in the neighborhood of five times. And I'm completely unapologetic. Why so? Because, despite the hate that Redwall gets for being derivative, repetitive, racist, morally absolute, and a Lord of the Rings knockoff, those books are written with such an outpouring of joy and spirit that it's just kind of a dick move to knock them, because that would be like knocking fucking Mother Goose for being a communist. Or some other application of abstract intellectual theory to something that doesn't need that kind of analysis. Because, let's face it, Redwall is for kids. It's a story written about talking animals that borrows from the same rich pantheon of knights and chivalry and other European shit like that that Tolkien doubtless borrowed from himself in creating his myth (which, I might add, has its own not-so-subtle racist overtones). There are songs and lengthy descriptions of food and a fond reliance on the pincer move as advanced battle tactics. As a little kid, reading these books, all this stuff is awesome, from the action to the funny accents to the good/evil struggle that's not too scary, but interesting enough to remind young minds of that fickle concept, "morality." So yeah, I understand that they're not the most original books, but the stories are pure and lighthearted, told with a warmth that should hopefully dispel the jaded criticism of childhood relics. Bottom line: not cool to hate, so don't fuck with Redwall. Well, that got kind of angry. So, um, yeah, not much else I'm completist about. I think that's because it's really hard to be completist, unless it's something for real obscure that there's not a lot of, and then the accomplishment is a bit less impressive. My problem with completism is that I can't overlook (except in the case of sacred cows, like Redwall, where hearing the same story slightly retold several times delights me and doubtless prepared my young mind to comprehend the intense backstory of, say, The Wire-- and yes, I just linked Redwall and The Wire) shitty quality from artists that I like. That's why I don't own the Pogues albums from after Shane McGowan left-- not as good. I hope you've enjoyed being yelled at for something you haven't done today, and that you possibly tune in next week to hear what I have to say about things that don't really matter.