Things I Like

It's a slow day around my "office" (read: dorm room) and I notice things have been kind of slow around the Tartar Sauce. So here are some things that have pleased me in the past couple of hours: Trailers. Movie trailers are really kind of an interesting subspecies of movie in their own right. A really good trailer is a thing of beauty, conveying all of the awesome of the movie without giving away too many plot details. Case study: Brick. (This is probably one of my favorite movies, for so many reasons. The dude who wrote/produced/directed it, Rian Johnson, was a young guy, about our age when he first wrote the script, and then raised funding to do the entire thing himself. That's really cool and makes me like the movie even more, but even the product on its own is amazing. Film noir set in high school, really good film noir at that, more Raymond Chandler than Mellvile, and also amazingly beautiful to look at. And the dialogue is superb, straight up thirties slang. I'm starting to lose it explanation-wise, so just rent it). Challenge is, the trailer tells a story of its own right, one that's a little faster paced than the movie, but no less good, and still manages to not reveal any of the major plot details (and plot is a key feature to "Brick"). But then there are trailers that tell a better story than the movie, that promise way too much and lead only to disappointment when the actual film is watched. Case study: the Wacknes, specifically the redband trailer. This sets up all that is/was wonderful about that movie: the nostalgia for the 90's, the good hip-hop, the drug dealing, the relationships, in a mere two minutes and nine seconds. The actual movie is considerably longer and gets bogged down trying to deal with everything that the trailer brings up. But in trailer form, it's a near-perfect story, because trailers carry no expectation of anything more than tastes. And the hypothetical tastes are often just as good as the movie. Which begs the question, why need a movie? Enter the "Grindhouse" boys and their wonderful fake trailers, which showcase the finest and most badass moments of trashy exploitation flicks without forcing the viewer to deal with all the irritations of "plot" and "development" and "story arc." The highlight fake trailer, in my opinion, was Rob Rodriguez's Machete. Explosions, great one-liners, just enough development for the story to be pleasurably implausible, boobs, Cheech, what more could you want? A bomb trailer deserves more appreciation for being a bomb trailer than I believe they get. So long semi-intellectual tangent for a minor point, but check out Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox trailer. This looks like a whole lot of awesome, all the best of Wes Anderson and Claymation without seeming either creepy or weird (both have a tendency towards uncomfortable at times). I never read the book, but that trailer makes the movie look so damn fun that I can't wait to catch it. Hopefully there will be no disappointment. And the other thing that I like? Squid. Squids are so fucking cool and alien that they absolutely fascinate me; watching TV and there's a squid documentary on? Game over. The bigger the squid the better: giant and colossal squid rock my world like no other. So of course I was floored when the aggressive, inquisitive, intelligent and up to six-foot long Humbolt Squid (el Diablo Rojo) was reported to be colonizing the waters off San Diego, probably due to some climate shit. But most importantly? Divers have been posting footage on the internets. Here's a pretty baller well-edited squid montage, complete with odd music. How fucking cool is that? And how terrifying would it be to be diving and see like six coming out of the murk towards you? More facts about Humbolt Squid: they're known as Red Devils because they are mad aggressive, and apparently they're breeding very quickly. Their tentacles have hooked beaks on them, so they're very capable of fucking divers up. Possibly curious instead of overtly hostile sometimes, but nonetheless when these dudes attack they grab with their tentacles and drag. Downwards. With a fuck of a lot of force. Basically they don't mess around. I'm too incoherent with what I have and haven't told you to go further into squid knowledge (of which I can drop a lot, after a very productive day of Wikipedia at work yesterday), but I think you get the picture. Enough for more videos: squid attack and a pretty good squid documentary from PBS. Oh, and they're being exported for foreign calamari. Cool shit. Ok, I'm finished. Enjoy your now hopefully vastly unproductive and squid-appreciative/fearing days.

Cool Thing Of The Week: Sarinee Achavanuntakul

Who is Sarinee Achavanuntakul? Why, she's the very smart lady who created Home Of The Underdogs, that's who. There's a lovely interview with her that you should- and if you have any interest at all in Intellectual Property rights, must- read.

Lulz of the Time

 

GTD can shove it.

Web Clips for 7/30/09

Text messages are a massive rip-off.

The Autofocus system, for those who want to GTD without GTD.

A bookmarklet that feigns IE6, and breaks websites.

From here, the only funny part:
"You step blinking into the blinding white light. All is new and the opportunities are endless. The vast wilderness of the Internet lies stretched before you, beckoning you, enticing you with its untold possibilities. All that remains is a name, a handle, the very essence of definition for the blank slate that IS...you. It can not be overstated, the significance of this ac...oh, you've picked CockasarusRex...well, that's good too."

Left 4 Dead 2 box art story.

Hack people way too easily (though not remotely) with a U3 flash drive.

Yes, things are coming, namely a review of some sweet L4D community maps. Of course, I've got to play the shit out of them all first.

Mmm... Globalization

Just for fun, here's a random list of slang words for McDonald's from different countries.

America - Mickey D's

Japan - Makku

Finland - Mac Dougal's

Australia - Macker's

France - Macdo

And here's what my good friends John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson have to say on the subject.

It's true that a quarter pounder with cheese is called a royale with cheese in France, but it's not true that you can buy beer in McDonald's. I mean Macdo.

Web Clips for 7/27/09

Ok, so it seems like it was all a bit of a mix-up, involving DDoS. AT&T says they blocked 4chan in order to protect end users from the DDoS, but why? No one's blocking we-got-viruses.com or ultra-flash-download-sucks-bandwidth.net. Plus doing it without notifying 4chan is a dick move whatever the reason. I'm still thinking there's something else behind this. Either way there was some neat planning over at Encyclopedia Dramatica.

An interesting and inventive MJ tribute.

A swingin' mario song.

This is extremely good, and I recommend you pick it up.

Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer footage. Custom kill streaks!

Lulz of the Time

 

And AT&T wants to block this stuff.......

Web Clips for 7/27/09

Bill Maher talking about stuff that matters. I try to stay away from politics as much as I can, but this issue just pisses me off. AT&T IS BLOCKING 4CHAN! I don't care if it's the most disgusting and offensive place on the planet, as a member of an uncensored internet I should have the right to look at whatever the fuck I want. I'm not a user of /b/ and the like, but I hope there's a huge retaliation from 4chan for this one. This is bullshit. You've heard about the silent protest, but what about the invisible one? Your facial hair, people will judge it.

What the fuck? Astro-Rap

So who else has heard about this already? Who else had heard that former astronaut Buzz Aldrin (btw, calling someone a "former astronaut" makes them sound way less cool) is trying to start a rap career? And that Snoop Dogg, Talib Kweli, and Soulja Boy are helping him? Because it's pretty much the funniest thing ever. And no, I'm not making this up at all. It's completely true.

First of all, that beat sounds like it's from the early 90s, at the latest. Then it just gets way funnier when Buzz actually starts rapping. I mean talking. Because that's all he's doing is talking. This just sounds like my grandpa talking. Because that's all it really is. Just someone's grandpa talking. The way he bobs back and forth is so hilarious too. I kind of feel bad making fun of him, but I had no idea it was possible for an astronaut to be so incredibly uncool. Then you have all these women (and apparently one dude) singing "To go flying into outer spa-ace!" We're not even half a minute into the video and I'm already on the floor with laughter. 

The video with Snoop and Talib Kweli on the site I linked to is great too. It's just so funny how in on the joke Snoop and Talib are. Then there are all the wonderful quotes.

"I have only two passions: space exploration and hip hop." - Buzz Aldrin (Although I feel like this could also be a quote from George Clinton)

"People think of hip hop and they think of beefs. We have east coast west coast beef, down south up top beefs, but, it doesn't compare to the beef between earth walkers and moon walkers, which I think is a way more dangerous beef." - Talib Kweli (Although I feel like this could also be a quote from Michael Jackson)

"Buzz Aldrin is so gangsta." - Talib Kweli

And seriously, the main hooky line sounds so much better when Snoop Dogg says it. Also, Buzz said that his intention in doing this rap was to get kids interested in space. Are there any kids anywhere who aren't interested in space? Every kid wants to be an astronaut when they grow up. This will probably turn them against it. "Astronauts can't rap and aren't cool. I don't want to be an astronaut when I grow up."

In all honesty though, it does appear that Buzz is in on the joke. At least, I really, really hope he is.

Web Clips for 7/26/09

The new Nvidia Drivers also fixed ATITool for me, which is great, because now my 8800GTS can Idle at 42c.

I recently did some case modding on my Antec 900, and got some lust for this.

Ultrasonic ringtones. Like a dog whistle for teenagers.

Shit that's a lot of money. Titanic is the one that baffles me, since almost everything else is magic, explosions, and CGI.

Web Clips for 7/25/09

Ugh, franchises. Why can't this one just die already? Please vote with your wallet; stop swallowing this shit and begging for more.

The new Nvidia Drivers are out. This is the first release that actually fixed the Left 4 Dead skipping issue for me. The new ATI Drivers are out too, if you've got one of those.

Speaking of Left 4 Dead, playing recently I noticed a TON of servers with this new campaign. I haven't finished it yet, but it's pretty fun, if a little blatantly repetitive. I'm glad a mod is getting so much attention, even on the Valve servers. I also saw some servers with this campaign too. It seems players are taking it upon themselves to provide the DLC everyone was whining about.

A High Definition remake of a game is a good idea in theory. I dare you to complete just one line.

I read a lot of GTD, lifehacks, and different self/life improvement type stuff. A lot of it can be helpful, but there's definitely some bullshit in there.

Cool Thing Of The Week: Jade Speaks French (and Spanish and Italian)

This post is partly inspired on Jake's excellent writeup about Pokémon. Actually, it's sort of the flip side - instead of talking about how outside knowledge can make you appreciate a game more, I'm going to cover how games can bring you outside knowledge. So you've managed to reach basic proficiency in a language, and you want to get better. You also don't really live in an area where your target language is spoken. Reading books and watching foreign films are popular ways of expanding proficiency, but it turns out that quite a few highly regarded games come with built-in translations. Beyond Good and Evil, for instance, allows you to select English, Spanish, French, or Italian each time you play. Evil Genius is available in English, French, Spanish, and German. The original Command & Conquer has a fan made patch which not only expands the resolution to 1024x768 but allows you to select English, French, Spanish, or German as the installed language (plus, it's free!) Stalker and its sequel feature Russian writing and dialogue from all the ambient characters, though all the plot and game dialogue is in English. It would be unacceptable for me to leave out X-Com: UFO and X-Com: Terror from the Deep, classics which are playable in English, French, and German (TFTD also allows Spanish.) Finally, Valve and shows off an overlooked advantage of Steam by allowing you to download any Steam game in any language it was released in. Half-Life 2 has English, French, Spanish, German, Simplified Chinese, Traditional Chinese, Russian, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Portugese, and Italian. Left 4 Dead even allows you to switch languages on the fly. While there are translations available for almost every game out there that sees an international release, the previously mentioned titles have it built right in (and are usually much higher quality.) I managed to get my hands on a copy of Rouge Alert II, for instance. Good times. In my experience, videogames are actually superior to other forms of media for learning languages. First, there's a lot of repetition involved in a game. In X-Com, every time one of your soldiers fires a gun, you have to click on the icon and be presented with the options "Aimed, Snapshot, Auto, Throw." Over the course of the game, you will see those words hundreds of times. Same instance with C&C, where your units say little confirmation messages when you click on them, give them orders, etc. Memorizing words requires repetition, and most games are all about repeating tasks over and over again. Second, animated games, especially those with in-engine cutscenes, don't suffer from dubbing issues. Beyond Good & Evil, for instance, doesn't match lip movement to dialogue that well in any language, but it doesn't matter, because we're not pulling all the insane detail out of the low-poly models that we normally do out of a real-life, nuanced, human face. Third, the vocabulary and speech you are exposed to in a game is specialized towards your interest area. If you like science fiction things, and play alot of games in a science fiction setting, you're going to be picking up sci-fi vocab, which you probably won't find in a traditional textbook. More importantly, you're hearing it in context, something you can't get out of a dictionary. Also, since you're interested in the subject area, you're more likely to absorb it and use it. Finally, Valve wins again with the Source engine - not only can you turn on closed captioning (which is incredibly thorough - it was designed to allow deaf players to enjoy the game - but the Source Engine's lip-syncing capabilities are pretty damn impressive. Of course, the best games to play would be those produced by and for your target language/culture. Jake's lucky in this regard, as he is a fan of JRPG's, which are (obviously) written in Japanese first for a Japanese audience and then translated, so the Japanese versions contain all the subtlety and cultural identity that tends to be lost in translation. I'm a bit out of luck, since the Arab gaming is pretty much nonexistent, as are Arabic translations of games. Best of all, every game mentioned in this writeup is of outstanding quality, so even if you don't understand exactly what's going on, you're still having a blast. So if you're serious about learning a language, turn some of that down time into study time by playing an awesome game in a foreign language.

Web Clips for 7/24/09

Apparently, this is a must-play.

I always tell people not to use PC repair shops, but they never listen.

Propaganda on how Windows 7 will be awesome for gamers. There seems to be a whole bunch of positive stuff about Windows 7 floating around. I honestly haven't tried it yet, but I do remember everyone loving Vista before it was released too.

Ray tracing, someday....

Lesser Known Firefox Extensions: Adblock Plus Element Hiding Helper

Almost everyone knows Adblock Plus, it's the one hands-down, must-install extension for Firefox, and the most popular. It simply makes the web a more pleasant place to be.

But nobody's perfect, and there's often things that Adblock will miss, the most common being text ads. Adblock Plus Element Hiding Helper lets you easily train Adblock to be better. Just find an ad that Adblock missed, click "select element to hide" and click on the ad. Then a new filter will pop up to let you block the ad in the future. Simple as that.

It's also great for the web in general, as it makes it easier to hide pretty much any part of a web page that you'd like. So annoying graphics, useless sidebar elements, youtube comments, anything that would be better if it were gone, you can hide it.

It basically just beefs up Adblock, and gives you more power over your web.

Adblock Plus: Element Hiding Helper.

Lulz of the Time

You know, he probably deserved it. This situation is the sort of thing that only Karma can deliver.

Web Clips for 7/23/09

Consistency: it gets you places.

And 8-bit Wheezer tribute album.

Easily and quickly create an online business card.

This dude gets paid to paint on dirty cars.

So it seems Core i7 has entered the realm of midrange. You could shave about $200 off of this by downgrading the case and hard drive. There's also two video cards there. Though it's still debatable whether i7 is really needed yet (as it's tough to get below $1000 what with the more expensive motherboard and RAM). A gamer will still probably be better served by saving the cash and going with a Core 2 Duo or Quad. Though maybe get a motherboard with room to upgrade.

Pokemon and Japan

Pokemon comes from Japan. You know that already, especially if you're around my age. Shit, if you're around my age then Pokemon was probably the first thing you had ever heard of from Japan. Pokemon has become synonymous with Japanese popular culture, and many people are aware that something as unique as the Pokemon series could only have come out of Japan. But many people don't realize how deeply the Pokemon series reflects Japanese culture. After playing Pokemon for about 10 years and living in Japan for about 4 months, I've seen lots of similarities between the world of Pokemon and the country of Japan that would never have occurred to me otherwise. And that's what I'm gonna be talking about.

First of all, there's a really really obvious way in which Pokemon directly reflects Japan: each region of Pokemon is based on a region of Japan. Kanto, from Pokemon Red, Blue, and Yellow, is not surprisingly based on the Kanto region of Japan, which is where Tokyo is. It's amazing how correctly the developers of Pokemon got the geography of the virtual Kanto to match the geography of the real Kanto. For example, try and guess which city in Pokemon is based on Tokyo. Come on, keep guessing. Are you ready? Well, if you said Saffron City then you're correct. There are really obvious ways in which the cities resemble each other: they're big, they're modern, they're hubs for travelers. But any game developer could create a city with all these features and have it not resemble Tokyo at all. What the developers of Pokemon did to really make Saffron City a virtual representation of Tokyo was that they gave it a greater metropolitan area. Tokyo is surrounded by Yokohama, Chiba, Kawasaki, and Saitama; Saffron City is surrounded by Vermilion City, Celadon City, Cerulean City, and Lavender Town. When I went to the top of the Tokyo TV Tower, all I could see for miles was city. This wasn't just Tokyo; it was all the cities that surrounded Tokyo as well. The Tokyo metropolitan area is so big that if it were considered one city (which it essentially is), it would be the biggest city in the world. With the limited technology that the first generation Pokemon games had, the developers did their best to make Saffron City mirror Tokyo in this way. In fact, I'm pretty sure Vermilion City (Kanto's port) is supposed to mirror Yokohama (Kanto's port). Plus, isn't it crazy that Vermilion City's gym leader is obviously supposed to be an American who came to Vermilion City since it's a port? I think so.

Johto, which is west of Kanto, and which was explored in Gold and Silver, is based on the Kansai region, which is west of Kanto, and which is where Osaka and Kyoto are. In Gold and Silver, Goldenrod City is supposed to be Osaka, and Ecruteak City is supposed to be Kyoto. As with Saffron City and Tokyo, it's crazy how deeply and accurately Ecruteak City mirrors Kyoto. Both are known as old, traditional cities with rich history, but the way in which Ecruteak City mirrors Kyoto goes way beyond that; many of the buildings in Ecruteak City are essentially real buildings that exist in Kyoto. The best example is the Tin Tower in Ecruteak City, where the main character of Gold and Silver finds the legendary golden bird Pokemon Ho-oh after climbing to the top. I'm almost certain that the Tin Tower is based on Kinkakujin, the golden temple in Kyoto. I mean, at the top of the golden temple is a statue of a golden bird.

Plus, in Kyoto there is also a silver temple. There isn't one in Ecruteak City, but there is another tower that burned down. And I mean, come on. Kyoto has a gold temple and a silver temple. The games that feature Kyoto, I mean Ecruteak City, are Pokemon Gold and Silver. Coincidence? I don't think so. Plus, Osaka and Kyoto have the same relative geographical locations as Goldenrod City and Ecruteak City. And I'm pretty sure Violet City, another, smaller old city, is supposed to be Nara, another, smaller old city which also has the same geographical position.

Hoenn, from Ruby and Sapphire, is supposed to be Kyushu, the island to the southwest of Japan's central island, Honshu. Basically, if you turned a map of Kyushu on its side, you'd have a map of Hoenn.

I don't really know much about Kyushu, so I can't really comment on how similar it is to Hoenn. But I do know that Kyushu's two biggest cities, Fukuoka and Nagasaki, correspond to Hoenn's two largest cities, Rustboro and Slateport, respectively. And Hoenn definitely has much more of a southern island vibe to it than any other main region in the series; most of its routes have water in them, most of the cities are coastal, and the climate is mostly warm. Plus, Kyushu is essentially a volcanic island, and so is Hoenn; at Hoenn's center is Mount Chimney, which I think is supposed to be Mount Aso. The areas around the volcano in the game obviously had a lot of thought put into their design. As they're far from the coast and have skies filled with ash, they have very low populations, and the people have to adapt to a harsh environment.

Sinnoh, the region from Diamond and Pearl, is Hokkaido. I mean, just look at a map of both.

You even have Jubilife City, Sinnoh's biggest city, in the exact same geographical position as Sapporo, Hokkaido's biggest city. Plus, Hokkaido is the northernmost island of Japan and has the coldest climate, as does Sinnoh, which is the only region in Pokemon that has snow in it. 

So that's just one way in which Pokemon actually mirrors Japan. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a Pokemon region yet based on Aichi, which is where I've been staying. But the developers have to get to it eventually. I mean, they've already used four regions of Japan as locations.

But there are other ways in which the Pokemon series really reflects Japanese culture. I'm currently almost done replaying Pokemon Sapphire, and I've noticed a few things in the game that are so similar to Japan. I didn't notice them when I played the game for the first time, but after being in Japan they're obvious to me. One instance where this occurred was in Rustboro City, one of the first locations visited in Hoenn. While you're there, you save a worker for the Devon Corporation, and as a way of saying thank you he takes you to meet the company president. When I first played the game I didn't think anything of this, but now I realize that this plot point is deeply rooted in Japanese society. In Japan, when you meet the president of a company, it's a BIG DEAL, way bigger than in America. For example, I've met my college president twice already, and almost every student at the school has. He comes to every event and tries to be very approachable. I've even seen people openly criticize him to his face, partly because no one is really afraid to. He doesn't have an air of mystery to him or anything. Shit, everyone at the school knows that he's openly gay, and him and his life partner serve breakfast to everyone on Halloween. To be fair, I go to a really small hippie college, and I know that this isn't representative of everywhere in America, but I also know other people at different colleges who've gone to their school president's house for dinner. Basically, the fact is that something like this is far from out of the ordinary in America, and at the very least most American students have seen their college president before. 

Now that that long tangent is over, I'll talk about how it's different in Japan. I have met my Japanese college president once, but it was an entirely different story. All of the foreign students were told a week in advance that we had to wear fancy clothes on a certain day to meet the college president. When we did, we went up to his office on the top floor of the central building, taking a secret elevator that only certain (not all) administrative people are allowed to use. All of the other elevators in the building don't go up that far. The school president's office was one of the nicest offices I've ever been in. If you sold all of the furniture and decorations that were in his office, it would probably be more money than my school has ever had in its history. Then we had to introduce ourselves in formal Japanese. Basically, meeting the college president in Japan was an honor and a privilege, as opposed to in America, where my college president has served me breakfast in women's clothing. Not that I don't have respect for my college president, but I'm not forced to have respect for him like I am in Japan. I doubt that more than 10% of the student body at my Japanese school has ever seen the college president in person. And certainly very few of them, if any, are ever allowed to go to his office. Even the staff members who took us there were clearly nervous.

So basically, the plot point of Sapphire where you meet the company president would have much more significance to a Japanese audience. In fact, the scene of the game where you meet the president was so similar to the experience I had. In the game, you go up a secret elevator that is only for company employees to the president's top floor office, which is more nicely decorated than anywhere else in the game.

There's another plot point early in Sapphire that reminded me of Japan as well. At one point, you go to an island city where everyone is following a random fashion trend. The way it works is that everyone on the island keeps quoting one phrase that consists of two randomly generated words. So every time you play the game the phrase will be two different words, and they'll rarely make sense. When I first played the game, my only thought was something along the lines of "Wow, they really could have programmed this part better." But now I realize that that's so close to how Japanese fashion is. I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to me and asked me what the two words on their shirt meant, only to be surprised when I told them it didn't mean anything. Basically, that part of the game couldn't have been programmed better, and I only realize that now.

There are a few other aspects of the games that are based on Japanese society, such as Team Rocket, an organized crime syndicate that runs a casino (the Yakuza, who run nearly every pachinko parlor), and Poke-marts, which are located everywhere, are open 24 hours, and sell everything you could possibly need (Japanese convenience stores). But the crazy thing is that the core gameplay element of the Pokemon series is actually also based on something real in Japan. During the summer, lots of Japanese kids like to capture these giant wild beetles with crazy horns and pincers and have them fight each other. Sound familiar? If not, I'll provide you with some visual aides. 

Doesn't help? Well maybe this one will.

So basically, if you go to Japan you can stage a real life battle between Pinsir and Heracross. I've even heard that this culture of fighting bugs was the initial inspiration for the entire Pokemon series. 

So there you have it. The world of Pokemon is essentially Japan. That's one reason why every location in the games is so detailed. They're based on real world locations. I hope you've learned something from this post, and that next time you play a Pokemon game (like the remakes of Gold and Silver for the DS, which I'm pumped about), you think about this a little. At the very least, you probably learned from this post what a complete nerd I am. 

Web Clips for 7/22/09

For all your Hypnotoad needs (volume warning). The source code for the software that ran Apollo 11 has been released. Best graphics cards for the money for July. It's a great time to buy, dual 4870's are now ~$300. And dual GTX 260's aren't much different. Get ready to trip out. And with the original (sans tiles). Steam just launched a Family section, this is a good thing.

Web Clips for 7/21/09

A clean, slick and green Firefox theme.

learn binary quick.

Easy flash drive modding.

Create an RSS feed for any web page.

Stop acting like an American tourist.

Diverging Worlds

Alright, so for my first official post as a writer for The Tartar Sauce, I've violated one of my cardinal rules of internet movie reviewing: don't wait too long, otherwise things will begin to suck as immediate impressions fade away. But I think we're gonna be okay today, because my complaint is critical and concrete, namely that in deviating too far from the original books, this "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" shenanigan ceases to be a part of the same magical world that Rowling started and now belongs firmly to the studios and whatever director happens to jump on board for the next installment. First, a disclaimer: I am a chronic re-reader of books; I've read most of the Harry Potter series at least twice, more so for the older books (except the second book. Fuck the second book), and I have a pretty sound memory for detail and the nuances of Rowling's storytelling. I also went back and read the sixth and seventh books again at the beginning of the summer, just because. So I walked into that midnight showing full of knowledge and a deep respect for the imaginative work that the films attempt to pay homage to. Time for our first major digression: the Harry Potter series is wonderful. It might not be groundbreaking in the sense of Joyce or similar dudes, and it might not even qualify as great literature, but it's a story of the old school, a tale of magic and clear-cut good and evil, and Rowling tells it with charm and good grace. Seems to me like these days, stories aren't the same as they used to be. They're derivative, designed to be serialized, oversexed and overviolenced, and generally just not very good. To me, the imagination and tradition and, for lack of a better term, balls have fled the field of storytelling, only to be replaced by mediocrity and money-grubbing tendencies. Harry Potter was a welcome deviation from this depressing norm: a wild retelling of our tedious modern world, done with a sly and subversive sense of humor coupled with a wild sense of joy for the rampant use of magic! Magic actually says it all- the books are magical, fun and elating, and even a little bit morally elevating. Here you have young Harry, a dude kind of fucked around by the non-magic world, given the opportunity via wild powers to run amok and enact revenge, but instead he stays true to Spike Lee and does the right thing. Admittedly my biggest complaint with the books is the lack of a moral gray area, but sometimes it's comforting to see moral absolutes occasionally, the traditional story of good and evil. But it's this moral absolutism that saves the series when it, as one of my friends complains, kind of loses the fun by becoming just another story of good guys vs. bad guys. It's the world of magic that's at risk, so the traditional story gains epic status. Rowling built a world that everyone loves and wishes to be a part of, and then threw it into peril. We've got three elements: a universally beloved dazzling/imaginative world, a traditional tale of the battle between good and evil, and sheer good storytelling ability. We might not have touched on this topic as much yet, but it's what ties everything together. The stories proceed at a good pace, the background details aren't overpowering, but are enough to provide flavor while simultaneously obscuring future key plot elements (Peruvian Instant Darkness powder anyone?), and at the same time providing a wonderful tone, some might even go so far as to call it magical. In a wildly convoluted paragraph, that is why the Harry Potter books are great, and anyone who disagrees can argue it out with me later. It's time for movie reviews. This, these, my above reasons for the universal pleasure Harry Potter brings, is why the movie was so weak. It's one thing to have a significant case of deviates-from-the-book-itus, but it's another thing to fuck with tone and central elements and then go and brand something as a member of the same species. "Lord of the Rings" shaves off some plot elements (understandable, as Tolkien went kind of nuts with the background information), but maintains the same spirit of the original books, and actually in a more accessible language than the sometimes impenetrable books. This new breed of "Harry Potter," however, isn't really anything like the books, rather in name only. We've got a short Harry (the subject of many an actually funny joke), overly CGI magic that's not as fun as overwhelming, the expected major deviation from plot elements, only in surprising new directions, like the elimination of fight scenes and the addition of extraneous scenes, and a general sacrifice of the subversively cheeky tone that characterized the books. I know the sixth book is the dark book, but the text didn't read that way. So why must the movie be so dour? It's not all bad though. The actors do a fine job, especially the professors: Alan Rickman is a wonderful Snape, the dude who plays Slughorn is also pretty cool, even though he's not at all what the book says he should be, and our trio of heros do fine work as their lovely selves. Draco Malfoy also gets a nod for being more involved than in the other movies. The central thing of it is that none of this really messes with our conceptions of what the characters were like in our imaginations when we read the books because none of the characters really resemble anything from the books. This is a good thing in the sense that our reading, imaginary world is still intact, but bad because the movie suffers in comparison. On its own, it's a not too shabby story of magical kids growing up and being awkward about relationships, with some talk of Horcruxes thrown in. It's just the comparison that makes it weak. This is by no means a Harry Potter film, just a pretty good variation of a much better theme. Slightly disappointing, but not without its merits.

The Best Rally Game Ever, for 5 Bucks.

So yea, there's not too many rally games out there, but there's enough. One of the better series out there is Colin McRae Rally. It's made by Codemasters (the guys behind the Dizzy series, Overlord, and a ton of racing games), and is one of their better franchises.

Colin McRae Rally 2005 improved upon a whole lot of new features and updates that happened in CMR 2004, including a new damage system, improved and new playmodes, and a ton of new tracks and cars from over nine countries. It's seriously awesome, and is one of those few racing games that really captures the feel of the dirt road. It's also got a great balance of arcade and realism, leaving (no really) something for everyone.

It's also had a nice revival in the past couple of months, since it's showed up in Good Old Games' catalog, meaning the online multiplayer is pretty populated (though get ready to be reminded of just how much you suck).

Plus, this week it's only 5 bucks. If you are at all interested (even a smidge) in racing games. Pick it up. There's hours of dirty, muddy, breakneck fun to be had here, and it's being pulled from the catalog after this week, so finding it is going to get tough pretty soon. A seriously sweet deal for a great game.

Asian Appropriation Alert: Prince of Persia

I recently stumbled upon this on Kotaku:

I don't know where to begin saying what's wrong with this. First of all, it's a movie based on a video game. The movies of Final Fantasy, Tomb Raider, and Resident Evil have all shown us what happens when you try to make a movie out of a video game. But to make it even worse, we have Jake Gyllenhaal starring as the eponymous Prince of Persia. We're told in the fucking title that the main character is Middle-Eastern, and we have a white guy playing him.

Now you may be thinking, "this is unrelated to Asian movies, so why are you talking about it here?" Well, first of all, Persia was on the Eurasian continent, in southeast Asia, so I'm not entirely off, geographically speaking. And even if I was, I said in my last post on the subject that despite the title, I'll be talking about incidents involving other races as well. I've just named this series "Asian Appropriation Alert" because most of the examples I see today involve Asian characters, and because it has a nice ring to it. Anyway:

I was criticized on Racialicious for going too far with my argument about the movie based on Hachiko. But I think this is an even more extreme example. With Hachiko, the filmmakers were taking a Japanese story and putting it in an entirely different location. You could argue that there was an artistic reason for this. I think other movies have done the same thing for artistic reasons, although in the case of the Hachiko I don't really see art playing a part. The Prince of Persia movie is an entirely different story, and anyone can tell that just from its title. The movie is called Prince of PERSIA, and it's set in PERSIA, and it's about said Prince of PERSIA. Is Jake Gyllenhaal Persian? Hell no. This is just another example of a movie where a character's race is specifically stated, in the fucking title of the movie, and that character is played by a white person. Even if you think I'm being to sensitive, or whatever, you still have to admit that this makes the movie NOT MAKE SENSE. Movies like these don't only strike a blow against equality, they strike a blow against plausibility.

Personally, I'd rather watch this movie instead:

Lulz of the Time

Swinger baby.

Web Clips for 7/20/09

A hilariously bad video game from the terrorists over at PETA.

Hide a torrent in a PNG image.

Facebook is fucking huge.

Case studies on what makes us happy.

Shadows of Lylat looks pretty damn sweet, though It's been in production for 6 years, so don't hold your breath.

Lulz of the Time

 

WHAT A USELESS KEY.

Web Clips for 7/19/09

Hey, we're also featured at Retro Nintendo.

So, I've not been posting lately, and have been trying to get an article together. I've been too busy, but I don't have a show again for another two weeks, I haven't had anything really article-worthy come to me, but expect shorter stuff and more activity overall from me. I've been playing Trine, though, so maybe something like that.

A slideshow with descriptions from Intel on how they make their CPUs.

Perlmon is the closest thing to CPU-Z for linux.


This shows' new season has begun. Good stuff.

This guy's had practice.

Cool Thing Of The Week: An Adventurer is You!

So with LucasArts unloading its back catalogue on steam, and Monkey Island getting both a facelift and a new episode, adventure titles seem to be coming back into vogue. I have no less than 3 adventure games to finish on my to-do list (Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, and Sanitarium) and yet I find myself waylaid by a low-budget production by a pair of insolent limeys. Been There, Dan That is the first game in the series, and it's bloody hilarious. It's a classic point-and-click - right clicking cycles through possible actions, left clicking interacts with objects and the environment. The protagonists - Ben and Dan, of course - merrily adventure their way through alternate-dimension locals, bantering back and forth about everything from shitty American beer to how exactly Ben knows which objects are useful to pick up and which are safe to leave behind. It's full of references that seasoned adventure fans will love, and coarse (but brilliant) humor for everyone else. It's irreverent, clever, entertaining, short, and most importantly, free. Once you've finished it (and hopefully tossed some of a bizarre "L" shaped currency to the creators) then it's time to fork over a whopping $5 for the sequel Time Gentlemen, Please! Which is bigger, flashier, and even more irreverent (in the options menus, there's a slider labeled "Racism.") The story follows immediately after the end of the first game, and while it provides a quick recap for those who haven't got the time for fun you really should play through the first one...er...first. I'm not really going into the plot details because I don't think I'll be able to do it justice, but I will say this: The main antagonists are armies of Cloned Nazi Dinosaurs. Really, there's not much more for me to say. If you enjoy adventure games, you will enjoy these. You might enjoy them even if you hate the genre - the mental leaps required to figure out the puzzles are refreshingly clever and logical, unlike certain abominations. Buy 'em. Play 'em. Support clever people who write fun games. Also, Gibbage is pretty fun, too.

Lots and Lots of Awesome Updates

Sup everyone. I have a few announcements to make.

First of all... I'd like to welcome a new blogger to the Tartar Sauce! You've probably read his stuff before; his name is Julian Suhr, he writes the movie review blog Never Mind The Bats, and he's also done two guest posts for The Tartar Sauce. He'll be contributing various pop culture posts to our fine blog, and he's well versed on topics such as movies, music, and just awesome stuff in general. I'm really thrilled to have him on board; Julian and I go way back, and I know it'll be great to have him as a full writer for The Tartar Sauce.

Secondly, Andrew alerted me to the fact that one of my posts was quoted on the race and pop culture blog Racialicious. I'm thrilled, as Racialicious is a really good blog that I frequently read. The poster seems to be somewhat critical of what I said, but hey, it's free publicity, and I'm glad that our posts are contributing to larger discussions. And it actually means that people are reading this blog. 

Thirdly, I just want to say that I know I haven't made much of a presence on this site in a while, but there will be several new posts from me coming real soon. I've had lots of ideas for new posts recently, but haven't had time to actually write them, but it seems that now I'm starting to get a little more free time. So expect new posts on The Simpsons, Pokemon, and other topics in the near future.

That's it from me for now. See ya soon.

George Lucas is a Prick

First of all, I like Star Wars. I don't love it. I grew up with it and I think it's a wonderfully deep universe (and lightsabers are badass, of course.) I didn't dress up and go to the premier of the new prequels, and I really wasn't all that upset when they sucked (yes, they sucked. No, it's not nostalgia talking.) I thought some of the tweaks he made in his Special Edition release were cool, and some were retarded (like Han not shooting first) but I didn't take it personally, like many fanboys seem to have. But man, George Lucas is a prick. Really, he is. He refuses to release a high-quality version of the original trilogy, instead mandating that the 1997 Special Edition has "replaced" it. According to Lucas, this version truly represents his original vision. Currently, the highest quality copy of the original theatrical release that one can obtain is from the 2006 DVD release, which contains a laserdisc transfer. So it's decent, but not fantastic. I'll let the man speak for himself: "...So what ends up being important in my mind is what the DVD version is going to look like, because that's what everybody is going to remember. The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won't last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you'll be able to project it on a 20' by 40' screen with perfect quality. I think it's the director's prerogative, not the studio's to go back and reinvent a movie." First of all, George Lucas only directed the original movie - Irvin Kershner directed Empire and Richard Marquand directed Return of the Jedi. So by doing his best to have the originals fade out of existence, George Lucas is exploiting his legal ownership to wipe out their vision. I think we can all agree that deliberating destroying another person's art is dick behaviour, yes? Second, it's not like anyone's saying that Lucas can't go back ad change his movies to his heart's content. Plenty of directors do that. It's called a "Director's Cut" for a reason. Lucas is trying to pretend like the original theatrical never existed. Which it did. Lots of people saw it. Third, George has been adamant that the original release represented only "25-30% of his vision." Yet what is added in the Special Editions? Some CGI doodads, some character assasination, and replace some actors with wooden planks to aid continuity with the prequels. The story arc is the same, the characters are (mostly) the same, the dialogue is slightly shittier, but overall, his vision isn't that different. Fourth, The special edition is not what was released in 1977. It wasn't the Special Edition that catapaulted Lucas to fame, bringing him untold wealth and the power. It's not the Special Edition that has affected a generation and inspired such rabid fandom. As much as Lucas wishes it weren't so, it's the original release that made cinematic history, and his recut is barely a footnote. "It’s like this is the movie I wanted it to be, and I’m sorry you saw half a completed film and fell in love with it. But I want it to be the way I want it to be." Well, it's not, to be honest. When people talk about the impact that Star Wars had on film making, they're talking about the original. Trying to say "no, no, THIS is what everyone was talking about!" is absurd. Even if the Special Editions were better movies, the originals would still be more important, historically. There's a story about a University that was doing a "history of cinema" film festival, and they wanted to show Star Wars because of its major impact. So they asked LucasArts for permission to screen the original theatrical release. LucasArt's response? Festival: Hello, we are doing a "History of Cinema" festival, and we would like to screen the original Uncut Theatrical Release of Star Wars in order to commemorate it's massive impact on film and film making. LucasFilm: Certainly, we would be happy to rent you the 1997 Special Edition release. Festival: No, no, no, I don't think you understand - we want to show the original movie that was such a cultural milestone. LucasFilm: Yes, we understand, and for all intents and purposes the Special Edition is the original film, the way George Lucas wanted it to be. Festival: So the movie that changed the world of cinema in 1977 was released in 1997? LucasFilm: *muffled sounds* Festival: What was that? LucasFilm: Sorry, that was George Lucas' penis in my mouth. He comes by every day about this time. As for your question - yes, that's correct. So yeah, I'm a little pissed that George Lucas, sitting on top of the most advanced film making studio ever and possessing a pile of money that would make Scrooge McDuck -or whatever the hell his name is- envious, won't create a high-quality release of the very movies which brought him such fame and power. It would be nice to have, but more importantly, George is trying to re-write cinematic history to appease his own control fetish (having already indulged his incest and pedophilia fetish several times.) And the scary part is that he's succeeding. So to sum up: George Lucas is deliberately attempting to destroy a piece of cinematic history in order to appease his own ego. George Lucas is a prick.

Fanedits

This may be old news to some, but I just watched The Phantom Edit and Attack of the Phantom for the first time recently. For those that don't know, basically a rather talented fellow took the first two Star Wars Prequels and made them less shitty through some clever editing. The first movie, Attack of the Phantom, is a large improvement, but still comes out as an average sci-fi film. Must of the edits involve a noble attempt to turn Jake Loyd's Anakin Skywalker into a compelling character, and a large reduction in "comical" aspects of the film (Jar-Jar is still present, although much reduced. In fact, you actually don't mind him as much when he's not in your face all of the time.) It turns out that when alot of redundant dialogue is cut, Qui-Gon becomes a bigger bad-ass, Obi-Won becomes competent, Anakin becomes appealing, and the funny parts become funny. It's a marked improvement. Attack of the Phantom, on the other hand, goes from a shitty movie to a good one, albeit one with embarrasingly stilted acting at times (because blue screen acting sucks, as a general rule. Acting is reacting, and it's hard to react to nothing.) Thanks to the Phantom Editor's alterations, Anakin goes from whiny brat to a tragic character that, while still a total creepster thanks to Hayden Christensen's leering, the audience can at least identify with. The love story actually works, ironically because almost all the scenes involving "romantic" dialogue have been excised. Less is more, and all that. Best of all is the commentary track where the Phantom Editor explains all of his decisions. It's intelligent, fascinating, and really makes you appreciate how important the editor is. Most of the fan edits that followed were basically people making Star Wars "they way they want it," but The Phantom Edit and Attack of the Phantom are all about applying George Lucas' original principles to his own films. Check them out. I can't really link to them because an overweight man in a stormtrooper costume will likely come on behalf of lucasArts to kill me, but you're all savvy internet peoples. Just be sure to try and find the DVD (4 gig) versions, as those have the commentary, which I feel is pretty important.

Cool Thing of the Week: Zombie Squad and Disaster Preparedness

Awhile ago, some bright folks who were interested in disaster readiness decided to start a website about preparation. Looking for a theme, they asked the question - "What is the worst case disaster scenario?" The answer, of course, is a zombie apocalypse. Thus began Zombie Squad, a tongue-in-cheek website dedicated to promoting preparedness and self-sufficiency. A good portion of the population seems to have this fantasy of post-apocalyptic living in a small farm way out in the mountains, but that's really unlikely (any catastrophic event that causes society to collapse will most likely kill you outright, and if it doesn't, it will probably destroy all your carefully laid preperations anyway.) There are your required discussions on "which caliber is best for the PAW (post apocalyptic world)?" as if anyone knows what that's actually going to be like. Finally, you get a few people who don't realize that the zombies are a metaphor, and try to start topics like "what weapon is best for killing zombies - shovel or katana?" If you take the time to look around, you'll discover a ton of information on nearly everything disaster related. Some of the most fascinating threads are in the "Personal Experiences" section, including some from survivors of Katrina. There's sections devoted to topics as widespread as firearms to personal gardening. A quick aside on preparedness in general before I continue: Talking about disaster preparedness makes most people think of bearded men in surplus camoflage eating canned beans in an underground concrete bunker. That's not being prepared, that's being paranoid. What's the point of focusing so much on saving your life that you forget to live it? Also, being prepared isn't just for when the bombs fall - it's for all sorts of unexciting (yet far more likely) scenarios. Off the top of your head - if your power went off tonight, would you be able to create light? Heat? Food? What if it stayed off for a week? I live in Washington, D.C., which has had in the past year several subway malfunctions and a deadly crash - on a train which I would have been on if I hadn't decided to bike to school that day. It made me think - if I had been on that train, and not disabled in the initial crash, would I have been able to help anyone? I'm an EMT, and while I could have done some basic triage and airway management and probably have improvised some splints or bandages thanks to my Wilderness First Responder training, I would have been alot more effective with some Kerlix rolls and a SAM splint. What if it had happened underground? I didn't carry any kind of light. Now, I keep a some basic first aid supplies, enough to stop major bleeding, wrap a sprained ankle, and splint a broken bone, as well as a flashlight, some Cliff bars, a swiss army knife, and two liters of water. It all fits in the back pocket of the backpack that has all my Arabic stuff in it, and doesn't weigh much at all. I'm going to be adding a bicycle patch kit and tools soon. Some people think it's funny that I carry all that around but to be honest, I don't really notice it anymore, and having first-hand experience treating people who thought "it would never happen to them," I'd rather err on the side of caution. I mean, I'd rather be trying to stop a bleeding gash on my leg with a proper sterile dressing and bandage, as opposed to a torn up shirt. Anyway, ZS is not only a great resource for prepping, but it's a fascinating example of internet community. The site's members range from veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan to liberal arts majors from England, and they all get along because of two rules - No Politics, no Religion. There is no opportunity on the site to discuss either of those two topics, and it's quite impressive how much people from different backgrounds get along when you simply ignore those issues. It's an online community that approaches a serious topic with humor and intelligence. It promotes volunteer work and raises money for charities. It's about zombies. So check it out.

Lulz of the Time

 

For all your punchline needs.

Web Clips for 7/9/09

Again, I'm slightly embarrassed to do this, but there's an article in gamespy on proud personal moments in gaming. It's pretty obvious shitty linkbait, but the corresponding thread on digg is actually pretty interesting. As the users simply sounded off some of their proudest gaming moments.

A decent list of geeky, hacking movies. Everyone should see "Hackers" if only for it's ultra-cheeeze, bastardization of hacker culture, and Angelina Jolie in a very odd role.

The entire original Star Wars in GIF.

Massachusetts sues DOMA. intewesting. Let's hope something comes of it.

Web Clips for 7/8/09

So did you hear about the Google Chrome OS?

And the soup of the day.

Yay, we can keep Pandora.

VLC (on of the best media players out there) finnaly hits 1.0!! Get it now.

Remembering Jacko Pt. 2

I know most people are probably sick of hearing Michael Jackson songs playing nonstop for the past week, so I figured I'd save you all that trouble and look at other people playing Jackson's classics. I have really been going back to all his early and I am constantly in awe of his talent; "I Want You Back" has some of the most amazing vocal runs in pop history, and Off The Wall is still one of my favorite albums (aside from the obligatory corny ballad where he cries); just try putting that album on and not dance your ass off. But back to the covers: noted music blogger Oliver Wang put together a nice little list of some of the best covers of his music for NPR. I especially dig the tasteful bossa-flavored cover of "Billie Jean" and ill rocksteady "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough." No "The Girl Is Mine" though, because only Macca and Jacko can do that right. Check it here. Speaking of Paul, I hope he gets his music back.

Web Clips for 7/7/09

An interview with Valve's PR guy, Doug, Lombardi, on L4D2 and other things.

My favorite comment from it:

"First things first, where's HL2 Episode 3?"

*Laughs* "Stay tuned! No news on that today."

*WHAP* "DON'T MAKE ME ASK YOU AGAIN! NOW WHERE! IS! HALF LIFE 2! EPISODE 3!"

"Agh, I said no news t-" *WHAP*
~~~~

Update on this, it seems that Telltales' digital distribution site was down for a good portion of today. So at least the game is seemingly selling well. It's gotten pretty decent reviews, and I suppose I'll have to play it and find out for myself. Also 35 bucks for 5 games is a freakin' steal.

HOLY SHIT, GMAIL'S OUT OF BETA! WHY DIDN'T THEY NOTIFY ME! I was planning a party.

The Best Games You've Never Played. Though if you read The Tartar Sauce you've likely got at least a few of these sitting on the shelf behind you.

This morning, if you're using the world calendar, it will be 4:05:06 07/08/09. Yay.

Web Clips for 7/6/09

Yes, I skipped a day. It was the fourth or something. I'm also trying to get back into writing actual articles. I promise.


Gina Trapani about the GPL and Share Alike (also please don't notice the template similarities)

Computer ownership by country.

Blizzard isn't supporting LAN play on upcoming Starcraft 2, and that sucks.

NPR's reasons why the BMI is BS. Though make sure you check out the second comment down for a good response.

Employ a fake helper to get past a block.

Absurd Time covers.

That's The Second Biggest Monkey Island I've Ever Seen!

Yup, tomorrow is the day. Telltale games (the guys who made the new Sam and Max season 1 and 2 episodic titles) will, after almost 10 years of a dead franchise, release the first of a five part episodic series: Tales of Monkey Island.

Now, I'm as scared as you, because this could be a total franchise killer. I mean, monkey island 4 (and many would say 3) wasn't very good. The humor lost a lot of its wit and most people didn't like the new style. If this game turns out to be a bust, I can't see the Monkey Island series going many more places. Especially since it hasn't been anywhere in 10 years.

But, if anyone can do justice to the franchise, it's Telltale (no, not LucasArts, as they're too busy churning out yet another Star Wars title). This little developer-that-could scored ultra-cult-big with their new Sam and Max games, proving that they have the stuff that old LucasArts was made of. They've also wowed plenty with Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People (though admittedly that one was a love-it-or-hate-it game, but so is HomeStarRunner's humor, so what were you expecting?).

The design director is Dave Grossman, who created the first two games along with Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer. Sure the whole team isn't back together, so Grossman's child-friendly humor is probably much more prominent, but hey, one is better than none. In addition to Grossman, Telltale's got what looks like a mighty fine line-up of writers, designers, directors, and programmers who all got their chops from the old classic LucasArts adventure games. Check out some gameplay, it seems pretty decent at least:

Anyway, even if this turns out to be a total bust, LucasArts is remaking the original (how like them). So if this one sucks, you can always play that. I'm not really one to believe hype, but I'm pretty confident I'll enjoy this game. Though (and this is unrelated) I've got to finish Conkers Bad Fur Day first.

I know it's a little late, but...

Here's my own way of remembering the king of pop. Rest in peace, Michael Jackson. More in-depth posts from me coming up soon, I promise.

Web Clips for 7/4/09

Alt codes for inputting symbols.

The Pirate Bay's been sued and bought, and now this? Geez.

Is the upcoming Windows 7 good for netbooks?

Web Clips for 7/3/09

Automated iPod awesomeness.

All about the scene.

Badass Bible Verses.

Track your software, discover more, and be social about it.

The One That Got Away, Or, A Reason to Look at Megan Fox Without Seeing Transformers 2

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3605/3633752862_d2a463fdca_o.jpg

Web Clips for 7/2/09

Please don't use Facebook like this.

Very creative use of a CD holder. If bagels are your thing, that is.

Jake, you might find this interesting, though it's a little dumb.

One of those Onion stories that's more sad and biting than it is funny.